


Punintentional

by Yulicia



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, M/M, puns, so many puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 23:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12758307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yulicia/pseuds/Yulicia
Summary: Kylo Ren, newly introduced to the First Order, could not get his pilot Major Hux to crack. He never smiled, and his discipline was unwavering. But when Ren stumbles upon a pun shaped discovery that all changes.





	Punintentional

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't new, it's been on my Tumblr for a little while but I liked it enough I figured I'd bring it over here. This was a fill for the kyluxcantina for the prompt 'pun-ishment'.

Ever since he’d first met Major Hux for the first time three days ago he’d not been able to shake him. No matter what Ren tried he maintained an air of absolutely professionalism, not breaking character for a moment. He had tried matching Hux’s professionalism, he’d tried being purposefully difficult, and he’d tried actively ignoring him but nothing had worked to change that neutral look he always seemed to have. He had the perfect stiff upper lip that Ren had come to expect of those raised under the Empire. This time, however, it infuriated him.  

How could this man be so completely level at all possible times? He wanted to break him. He wanted to see a smile on his face, wanted to hear his laugh in his ears. He wanted Hux to show any expression that wasn’t a neutral frown. He’d even settle for a snarl of disgust.

It was fortunate, then, that it appeared he would have time to do so. The ship Hux was taking him from Snoke to the First Order’s fleet in didn’t have a hyperdrive on account of it being absolutely ancient so they were being forced to take the longest way possible. Ren thought the ship might have had a hyperdrive at one point but so much of the ship’s interior was either tragically broken or just straight up missing that he wasn’t about to lose sleep over its demise.

It was over their meal preparation in the ships tiny little kitchenette that Ren brought up Hux’s uncanny ability to seem unphased.

“It’s protocol, Commander Ren,” Hux had replied simply.

That had only spurred Ren on even more. Even his answers seemed pre-written and eerily inhuman. He was more like a droid than he was a person. He needed a plan. Hux might be a harder nut to crack than he had initially expected. He might even have to use the Force.

His thoughts were interrupted by the very cause of his agony holding out a fork for him to take. He looked down at the utensil, realising their meal was ready. He took the fork, thanking Hux.

“May the forks be with you,” He mumbled, freezing the moment the words had left his mouth. He’d not meant to say that. It had been a silly joke Han Solo had told him. He didn’t want to think about Han at all.

He was jolted by a strange sound, not unlike a cat being quickly strangled. He looked up, broken from his wallowing by the sheer oddness of the noise. Hux wasn’t looking at him, the tips of his ears bright red. He grabbed his meal and shuffled off in a hurry with a mumble of  _Excuse me, Commander Ren_. Ren was stunned, completely caught off guard. Then he smiled, realising what Hux’s reaction had meant.

The dear Major had laughed at his joke. Well, he’d  _mostly_  laughed. It was close enough. Ren knew he was grinning and was infinitely grateful no one was around to see it. Oh, this was going to be so much  _fun._

* * *

He’d waited until the next morning to strike again, a plan now firmly in his head.

Hux was sitting at the console of the ship, absentmindedly tapping away at his datapad. The screen was covered from top to bottom in graphs and numbers Ren didn’t have context for. He wasn’t really interested either. He had a much more interesting task ahead of him.

Creeping up beside Hux he appeared to look nonchalant. In reality he was already barely holding back unsightly giggling. He’d grabbed a cup of water before his approach and now waited to present it to the Major.

“Drink?” Ren asked, holding out the cup.

Hux frowned, clearly suspicious. “Thank you,” he said hesitantly, reaching out to take the cup.

Hux brought the cup to his lips, drinking deeply.

“So,” Ren started, already struggling not to grin, “Water you up to there?”

Hux nearly choked on his mouthful with a laugh, leaning forward quickly to contain it. He began to turn beet red with strain. He swallowed his mouthful, but only after some effort to keep it in his mouth in the first place. He turned to Ren to look at him with what Ren could only describe as pure hatred. Ren, in turn, simply grinned back.

“Drinking problems, Major?”

Hux ignored him, placed his datapad by the pilot’s console and stormed off into the back of the shuttle.

Ren felt absolutely giddy. “I should really be pun-ished for that!” He called out into the shuttle. He heard the slamming of a fist against a wall. He smiled.

* * *

Ren knew the shuttle was drawing closer to the First Order’s fleet. He could feel it’s very presence in the Force. The darkness of the First Order was singing to him. He’d felt a taste of it in Hux but it was nothing compared to the sheer void he felt not far from their shuttle. He estimated they were only a few days out.

Ren lay on one of the flimsy hammock cots in the back of the shuttle, meditating. He’d been there for hours, laying in complete silence. His concentration was only broken by the tell-tale clicking of Hux’s boots against the shuttle’s floor.

“Hux.”

The footsteps stopped. “Yes, Commander Ren?”

“What kind of soldiers are the best smelling in the galaxy?” Ren asked, remaining completely still in his hammock.

He heard Hux sigh. “Why would I know that?”

Ren paused for a moment, drinking in the moment before the storm.  _“The cologne troopers.”_

Hux made that choking half laugh sound again before Ren heard him huff and storm off.

“Oh, come on, Hux!” He called, knowing Hux would be able to hear him in the tiny shuttle, “Don’t be such a wrathtar!”

He heard Hux scoff from elsewhere in the shuttle. He smiled to himself. This was far too easy; none of these jokes would have worked on his friends from before.

He was going to miss this when Hux inevitably disappeared into the blur of officers in the First Order Fleet, likely never to be seen by him again.

* * *

Two days before they made contact with the First Order fleet Ren had asked Hux what his goal was in the First Order. Hux had been reluctant at first.

“Why should I tell you anything about myself?” Hux had asked.

“Because I know you want to. I can feel it within you,” he had replied. He couldn’t actually; he was completely bluffing, but the statement had gotten a rise out of Hux.

“You first,” Hux had bargained, “I’ll need something to hold against you should you decide to use my words against me.”

And so Ren had. He’d told Hux about his wish to become more powerful, the torment his gift placed upon him, his wish to free himself from the bonds the Light Side wove around him, and about his short time with Snoke. He had not told Hux of Han, or of Luke, or of Leia. He wasn’t ready to reveal that quite yet. The wound was too fresh, too raw, still far too bloody to reveal.

In turn Hux had told him that he wished to rise through the ranks, too beat his father at his own game; to dispose of him. Ren guessed that last part was exaggeration, simply an expression of wishing to remove him from his position, rather than an actual threat. He doubted Hux trusted him  _that_  much yet.  

“To have command, to have a vessel to call my own, that would be my dream. A star destroyer to my name.”

Ren paused for a moment.

“So, General-ly speaking, you would say you’d like a ship to be a star destroy-yours?”

Hux barked a laugh, a sound more akin to what one would actually expect from an expression of joy than the cat-hacking-up-a-furball sound he had made before. He threw his head back in genuine mirth and Ren had never felt happier.

“Precisely, Commander Ren.” There was a warmth in Hux’s voice and a softness in his gaze. Ren blinked.

“There need not be any ranks here, Hux,” Ren said, “’Ren’ will do.”

Hux nodded, leaning back against the wall of the shuttle. “Very well, Ren.”

* * *

It was somewhat with a heavy heart that he had to part with Hux upon their arrival to the First Order fleet. Hux was likely to disappear from his life now, lost to the call of duty. Ren didn’t want that, finding that he rather enjoyed the Major’s company.

Leaving the shuttle, Hux turned to disappear into the ship, ready to hand him over to the commanding General aboard. As his foot went to connect with the gangplank to exit the ship Ren caught his sleeve, pulling him back. Hux turned back to him, his brow furrowed.

“Major,” Ren said, returning to using ranks with their parting. He pretended not to notice Hux’s face falling for a moment at the word. “If you are ever wanting reach out to me; I will find you in the force. If you so wish, I can show you a grand night of Ren.”    

Hux laughed freely before covering it quickly with a cough, knowing his duty waited a few steps away.

“I’ll hold you to that.”  

Ren let himself be filled with a glimmer of hope, something he hadn’t felt in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is stardestroyervigilance.


End file.
